原创翻译 双语字幕
仅供交流学习 禁止商用盈利
人人影视原创翻译
特效：咖啡·Lee
他住地下室 He was in the basement.
还把我衣服都抓破了 He even ripped my shirt,
但他们还是不信我 and they still didn't believe me.
他们从来都不信我 They never believe me.
我说你的事 他们也不信 They don't even believe me about you.
你信我吧 艾比盖尔 You believe me, don't you, Abigail?
翻译：累
时间轴：想念Gallifrey的Wholock
校对：累
后期：咖啡·Lee
总监：累
鬼入侵
第一季 第四集
我小时候 When I was a kid,
我哥教我怎么在云中看出来人脸 my brother taught me how to spot faces in clouds.
我能从很懂东西里看出人脸 水 I could pull a face out of a lot of things. Water...
泥 树叶 mud, leaves...
墙纸 wallpaper.
大一点后 我开始 You know, I get a little older, I start messing around
喝酒吸毒 with liquor and drugs and...
走上一条不归路 I was going down all the wrong routes, you know?
所以 So, uh...
我参军了 I joined the service,
希望能让我拨乱反正 you know, thinking it would straight me out.
确实如此 And it did.
2004年 我第二次驻派伊拉克 Two thousand and four, my second tour in Iraq,
在巴格达 我们队在保护被炸医院的废墟 my company secured the ruins of a bombed-out hospital in Baghdad,
然后 and...
发现了一个伊拉克小女孩 We came across this little Iraqi girl.
她被烧死了 I mean, she was burnt up, dead. You know.
问题是很多人不知道 See, the thing is, most folks don't know what happen to...
眼球在火里什么样 Most folks don't know what happens to eyeballs in a fire.
火够大的话 In the right kind of fire, they...
眼球就熔化了 they can melt.
就像焦皮肤上的溏心蛋 Like runny eggs on black skin.
知道吧 You know?
嗯 And...
让我很难受 I mean, that fucked me up pretty bad.
六个月后 我回国了 anyway, six months later I'm back in the States,
很快我开始 and pretty soon I start
在各种地方看到这女孩的脸 seeing that little dead girl's face everywhere.
云里 黑暗中 布上 It's in the clouds, it's in the dark, on fabric.
到处都是 It's fucking everywhere.
知道吗 You know?
小女孩烧焦的尸体 That little girl's charred body and...
熔化的眼睛 melted eyes...
从脸颊上流下来 running down her cheeks.
不久我又开始吸毒了 And pretty soon, before I know it, I'm using again.
加州 洛杉矶
有一晚我弄撒了一点毒品 就看到她了 So one night, I drop a little acid and there she is.
九十天前
从他妈墙纸里出来了 I mean, it's growing out of the goddamn wallpaper, you know?
盯着我 I mean, and she's staring at me.
都没眼睛 我能看出来 Eyeless even, I can tell.
于是我拿起毛线针 So I grab this knitting needle...
然后 you know, and...
只想着如何让 all I can think about was how to--
让一切结束 how to make it stop.
当时感觉主意不错 Seemed like a good idea at the time.
然后我就瞎了 So, then I'm blind.
瞎了就什么都看不到了吧 But I mean, like, I-can't-see-anything blind, right?
但我还能看到她 Thing is, is I still see her.
其他的都看不到了 I can't see anything else.
还能看到她 I see her.
烧焦的孩子和溏心蛋一样的眼睛 Crispy kid with the runny-egg eyes.
全天候都能看到她的脸 Twenty-four/seven, I see her face.
操 现在都能看到 Shit, I see it now.
知道吗 You know?
但 But...
我到这了 I'm here.
我已经两个月没吸毒了 Two months I've been clean.
有点迟 It's a little too late.
我是靠着毒品摆脱那张脸的 I leaned on my habit to get rid of that face
但现在永远摆脱不了了 and my habit made sure that I never would.
所以我来这了 That's why I'm here.
两个月了 Two months.
谢谢 戈登 Well, thanks, Gordon.
很高兴你能来 We're glad you're here.
还有新人想分享吗 Any of our newbies want to share?
卢克 你呢 Luke, how about you?
在他后面 别逗了 And follow that? You kidding me?
谁想要新人奖牌吗 Would anyone like to take a newcomer chip?
戒毒30天呢 How about 30 days clean?
两天前
60天 90天 Sixty? Ninety?
-谢谢 -不客气 - Thank you. - You are welcome.
卢克 瘾君子 Luke, um, addict.
卢克 Luke.
我其实不知道要说什么 I actually don't know what I want to say here.
以前我没这么多时间 You know, I've never had this much time before.
90天 You know, 90 days.
这样 So, here goes.
一 One.
二 Two.
三 Three.
四 Four.
五 Five.
六 Six.
七 Seven.
就是他 我在地下室看到的 That's him, the man I saw in the basement.
我和你妈搜遍了 小伙子 Well, your mother and I searched the entire basement, pal,
下面什么都没有 and there's nothing down there.
小孩子有幻想朋友和噩梦都很正常 It's normal for kids to have imaginary friends and nightmares.
但 But...
说吧 我在听 Go ahead, I'm listening.
这个房子很坏 爸爸 This house is bad, Dad. It's bad.
孩子 有很多东西可以院卖呢 Boy oh boy, we could have a heck of a yard sale, guys.
是啊 Yeah.
谁看见奈莉了吗 Has anyone seen Nellie?
奇怪 That's weird.
她刚才还在呢 You know, she was just here.
没事 我想着她可能会喜欢这些好看的旧扣子 It's okay, I just thought she might like these cool old buttons
-楼上发现的 -扣子 - I found upstairs. - Buttons?
被你吓到了 You got me.
我的小魔术师 看 My little Houdini. Look.
能把帽子给我吗 Can I have the hat?
你戴可能太大了 宝贝 I think it's too big for you, honey.
不知道 他慢慢会长大的 I don't know. He'll grow into it.
这是大男孩的帽子 That is a big boy hat, all right.
你要吗 You want this?
你已经是大男孩了 Well, you are a big boy now.
不过大男孩们 But you know, big boys,
他们知道 they know the difference
真实和幻想的区别 between what's real and what's imaginary.
你说呢 哥们 So what do you say, champ?
喜欢吗 You like it?
他很喜欢 He loves it.
你怎么知道的 Well, how do you know that?
双胞胎嘛 It's a twin thing.
你俩去玩吧 You two go and play.
楼上好多东西 So much up there.
好漂亮 Nice.
感觉往日重现啊 I'm having a total déjà vu right now.
你看到了什么 What do you see?
两张桌子 前进色 Two tables... advancing colors.
四个阅读区 Four reading areas.
家具和皮具 Casegoods and leather.
父母面对面坐在椅子上 A mom and dad sitting in reading chairs that face each other.
两个孩子 Smaller ones for two...
不 三个孩子 no, three kids...
在中间玩耍 who share an open center for play.
孩子的书在低层书架上 Kids' books are on the lower shelf
哪怕用学步车的小男孩 so even the little boy
也够得着最喜欢的书 with the wheelchair can reach his favorites.
真具体啊 That got really specific.
嗯 Well...
家具和皮具当然能看到 Casegoods and leather, though, for sure.
如果你不拉掉那些 And I see an accident
那边可能要出意外 waiting to happen if you don't pull those down.
身体在那摇来摇去 Bodies swinging back and forth right there.
嗯 Yeah.
我来 I'll get to it.
我肯定对第四阶段过敏 I must be allergic to the fourth step.
每次都第四阶段就会复吸 Every time I do one, I break out in track marks.
很好 如果你喜欢 那就做错了 Good. If you liked it you'd be doing it wrong.
无畏的道德储备 "A fearless moral inventory."
秘密越多 病得越重 We're only as sick as our secrets.
好吧 Okay, well...
我想想 Let's see.
我烧了谢丽几千美元 I've burned Shirley for thousands of dollars.
经常骗西奥 Lied to Theo like it was my job.
从史蒂文那偷了无数次钱 Stolen from Steve on countless occasions.
伤透了奈莉的心 I broke Nellie's heart.
没参加她的婚礼 Missed her wedding.
我还抢过我的混蛋老爸 I've even robbed my asshole of a father.
不过我不会因为这事睡不着觉 Though that one doesn't exactly keep me up at night.
没在妈妈临终前偷她的吗啡吗 Try stealing morphine from your mother on her deathbed.
可能会 但她没给我机会 Probably would've but she didn't really give me a chance.
至少你还有别的家人 At least you have other family, you know?
-还能补救 -嗯 - Someone you can make amends to. - Yeah.
不过我做了不少坏事 乔伊 But I've done some shitty things, Joey.
谁不是呢 Who hasn't?
我13岁就流落街头 I've been on the streets since I was 13.
那本子根本不够写我的破事 There aren't enough pages in that notebook for all my shit.
不知道要写多久远的 高中写吗 I never know how far back to go. Like, do I cover high school?
比如从阿姨钱包里偷钱买啤酒 Like stealing cash out of my aunt's wallet for beer,
还是从"我短暂住过鬼屋"开始写 or do I just start with "I briefly lived in a haunted house".
你还好吗 You okay?
嗯 Yeah.
今晚有什么事困扰着你 Something's bothering you tonight.
在这种地方 有什么能困扰我的 What could possibly be bothering me in a place like this?
乔伊 你戒了九个月 You're nine months clean, Joey.
九个月 Nine months.
你戒了足月 Your sobriety, it's full term.
九个月宝宝都要生了 It's a fully-formed little baby anywhere.
戒九个月真的太厉害了 Nine months clean is a palace.
十点熄灯了 Ten o'clock. Lights out.
说真的 怎么了 Seriously, what's wrong?
阶段怎么样了 How's the step?
你知道的 You know.
太难受了 Kicking my ass.
第四阶段就这样 Fourth one always does.
我是想告诉你 你哥打电话来了 I meant to tell you, your brother called earlier.
史蒂文打来了 Steve called?
-是的 问你在不在 -老一套 - Yeah, wanted to know if you were here. - That's typical.
你明天回个吧 跟他说你拿了奖牌 You should call him back tomorrow. Tell him about your chip.
我再想想 Yeah, I don't know.
他不会相信的 He won't believe it.
他们从不相信我 They never do.
-他们就这样 -不一定吧 - It's kind of their thing. - I don't know.
送你来的姐姐 That sister of yours, the one that dropped you off,
似乎很相信你 非常信任你 she seemed to believe in you. Tons, actually.
嗯 Yeah, well...
双胞胎嘛 It's a twin thing.
十点了 乔伊 Ten o'clock, Joey.
好的 回女生宿舍了 Yeah, yeah. Back to the ladies' cell block.
-回头见 -晚安 - Later. - Goodnight.
走 Go.
卢克 准备好了吗 Luke. You ready?
准备好了 Ready.
我访三个扣子下来 准备好了吗 I'm sending down three buttons. You ready?
我说过了 I said I'm ready.
拿到了吗 Did you get 'em?
拿到两个 I got two.
我放了三个 I sent three.
我只有两个 Well, I only got two.
肯定是卡住了 It must be stuck.
要不放点其他东西来弄松它 Maybe we can drop some other stuff to shake it loose.
比如呢 Like what?
花园里有石头 漂亮的那种 There were some rocks in the garden, pretty ones.
艾比盖尔给我看了一个 Abigail showed me one in...
克拉拉 Clara.
上面还有其他人吗 Was somebody else up there?
谁 Like who?
达利夫人或者西奥 Mrs. Dudley or Theo?
你害怕了 You're scared.
不 我没有 No, I'm not.
-我能看出来 -怎么可能 - I can tell. - How?
因为我也害怕 Because I'm scared.
奈莉 还在下面吗 Nellie, still down there?
在 I'm here.
我是对的 什么也没有 I was right. There's nothing.
应该只是西奥 It was probably just Theo...
在捣乱 messing around.
奈莉 Nellie!
天啊 Jesus.
七点了 十分钟后吃早餐 Seven a.m. Breakfast in ten minutes.
大家都听说了吧 As you've all heard by now...
乔伊半夜决定不治了 Joey chose to leave treatment in the middle of the night.
如果忘记为什么来这 就会这样 This is what happens when we forget why we're here.
我知道大家感触很多 I know we're all going to have a lot of feelings about that.
有些人更多 Some more than others.
这是大家都应该打起精神 This is a moment we should all pay attention to,
尤其是几位新人 especially you newbies here.
鼓励大家在第一年不搞人际关系 There's a reason why the program encourages us
是有道理的 to stay out of personal relationships the first year.
我们没什么关系 We're not in a relationship.
任何形式的关系 Any kind of relationship.
康复中 大家很容易亲近彼此 We can get real close to people in recovery.
我们是朋友 We're friends.
没朋友 How the fuck do you expect
怎么坚持的下去 people to get through this without friends?
是的 We don't.
有个最大的问题 是时不时可能发生 One of the biggest issues that can sometimes happen and just...
时不时 sometimes...
我不是在说你 卢克 我们 and I'm not saying this about you, Luke, is we can
会把康复寄托在 start to hang our recovery
别人身上而不是我们自己身上 on someone else instead of on ourselves.
太过依赖另一个瘾君子会如何 惨了 And you lean too hard on another addict? Shit.
靠得住的不怎么来这的 We didn't all end up in here 'cause we're so reliable.
-卢克 -我没事 - Luke. - I'm fine.
卢克 Luke.
我去透透气 I'm just getting some air.
操 Fuck.
卢克 Luke.
卢克 你还好吗 Luke, you okay in there?
我是奈尔 请在哔声后留言 Hi, this is Nell. Please leave a message after the beep.
别跟着我
是我 It's, uh, it's me.
我突然一下 I... I had a moment. Um...
昨晚那种 Last night, one of those.
你知道我在说什么 You know what I'm talking about.
我只是想确认你没事 I just wanted to make sure that you were okay.
我 我没有手机 I, uh, I don't have a phone...
你打到康复中心也找不到我 and you won't reach me at the center.
但你还是可以打 给我留言 But, you can call there and leave me a message there.
我今晚应该回去 I should be back by tonight.
我要先找一个朋友 I just have to find a friend.
别担心 我很好 And don't... don't worry. I'm fine.
我只是 I just...
我只是想确定你没事 I just wanted to be sure you're okay.
你知道的 就这样 You know. Yeah, okay.
操你妈的 Fuck you.
学学开车 Learn how to drive.
你怎么知道到这找我 How'd you know where to find me?
我知道你喜欢去哪 I know your spots.
没事的 It's okay.
没事的 Come on, it's okay.
我找到她了 我们马上回来 20分钟到 I found her. We're coming back. We can be there in 20 minutes.
这不是酒店 卢克 你知道这里满员了 This isn't a hotel, Luke. You know that... we're full up
我们要把床位留给想要康复的人 and we need these beds for people who actually want to get well.
你们跑了就代表放弃了床位 就是这样 You run, you give up your spot. That's the way it is.
求求你 佩吉 拜托 Please, Paige. Please.
你们只能去庇护所 Your best bet is gonna be a shelter.
她不能去那 那有毒品 她已经 That's the last place she should be. She'll cop, she's already...
我要找个地方 让她度过戒断期 Look, I need a place where she can come down safe.
操 卢克 我 Ah, fuck, Luke. I...
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
但你们是自作自受 But you did it to yourselves.
操 Fuck.
她说得对 我离开时就知道后果了 She's right. I knew the rules when I left.
你还好吗 You okay?
嗯 Yeah.
我昨晚没睡好 Just, I slept on it funny last night.
我告诉你不要跟着我 你为什么还来 I told you not to follow me. Why did you?
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
但你得回去 It's just, you gotta go back.
我搞砸了 并不意味着你也要这样 Just 'cause I messed up, doesn't mean you have to.
我有个主意 I got an idea.
-如果能给你租个旅馆 那 -你有钱吗 - If I can get you a motel, then-- - Do you have money?
-没有 -你能弄到钱吗 - No. - Can you get money?
-你兄弟姐妹呢 -不行 - What about your sisters or your brother? - No.
可以打电话给他们吗 Do you think you can call them?
我会弄到钱的 好吗 I'll get some. Okay?
我能搞定 咱俩今晚能找到地方住 And I'm gonna fix this. I'm gonna get us a place to stay tonight.
明天也是 Tomorrow, too.
我会让你再戒掉的 And I'm gonna get you clean again.
我会陪着你 And I'm gonna be right here, right there with you.
一直陪着 就像你对我那样 好吗 All the way, just like you were for me, okay?
然后找个新地方 And we're gonna find a new place.
我保证 I promise.
还有余钱吗 You got anything left?
嗯 Yeah.
应该够了 That should get us most of the way.
走吧 Come on.
你胆子不小 伙计 You got some balls, man.
早上等了多久 How long do you wait this morning?
才翻墙的 Before hopping the wall?
不久 Oh, not long.
我还是不敢相信你来找我 I still can't believe you came after me.
我姐让我来的 Well, my sister kind of told me to.
也不算吧 她 No, not really. She...
我们之前有感应 We're kind of in each other's heads.
从小就这样 It's been like that since we were kids.
双胞胎嘛 It's a twin thing.
有一次 You know, once I...
有一次我摔断了脚 Once I broke my foot...
然后 and...
几分钟后奈尔打电话给我 她只是 and Nell called me a few minutes later, and she was just...
她只是在看电视 突然脚特别痛 she was just watching TV and her ankle just went nuts.
痛得要命 It hurt like hell.
她不知道为什么 冰敷了一个小时 She had no idea why. She iced it for an hour.
-胡说 -不 这是真的 - Bullshit. - No, it's a true story.
有时候 You know, there are...
有时你会让我想起她 There are moments you kind of remind me of her.
她 And she...
她一直相信我 You know, she's always believed in me.
其他人 Not...
家里的其他人就不是了 但 The rest of the family, not so much, but...
另一个相信我的人就是你了 the only other person that believed in me like that was you.
所以我当然会来了 So yeah, of course I came.
她也会这么对我的 It's what she would've done for me.
操 Fuck.
你还好吗 You okay?
嗯 我 Yeah, I'm...
我很冷 I don't know, I'm cold.
听着 到了以后你别做声 Listen, when we get there, just hang back.
我不想让她看到你的眼睛 I don't want her to see your eyes.
-她能看出来的 好吗 -好 - She'll know, okay? - Yeah.
她啥都能看出来 She always fucking knows.
-卢克 -莉 - Luke. - Hey, Leigh.
你好啊 How you doing?
你怎么来了 This is a... surprise.
你怎么 Ah, what are you...
-你好吗 -我很好 - How are you? - I'm good.
我真的很好 其实我90天没犯错了 I'm really, really good. Ninety days good, in fact.
那真是太棒了 That's really great.
我看得出来 你看起来不一样 I can tell, you look different.
谢谢 Thank you.
非常好 所以我放假一天 史蒂文在吗 So good, I got a day pass. Is Steve here?
他不在 No, he isn't.
他快回来了吗 Is he-- Well, is he coming back soon?
我有些事要找他 I just kinda need to talk to him about something.
他没有告诉你 He didn't tell you.
告诉我什么 Tell me what?
史蒂文不会很快回来 也许永远都不回来了 No, Steve is not coming back soon. Maybe ever.
他不住在这里了 He doesn't live here anymore.
等等 什么 Wait, what?
我们一个月前分居了 We separated a month ago.
为什么 Why?
我真的不想细说 I would really rather not get into that.
好 Okay.
我戒了 Listen, I'm-- I'm clean.
-90天 我说了 -我说那太棒了 - Ninety days, like I said. - And I said that's great.
-莉 我要借点钱 -天啊 卢克 - Leigh, I need to borrow some money. - Jesus, Luke.
不是的 我只是 No, it's not like that. I just--
我们说过很多次了 We have been through this over and over.
我是为了住酒店 要不你让我们住这也行 It's for a hotel. Or if you could just let us stay here--
你知道不可能 You know you can't do that. You know that.
好 Okay.
好的 你能 Okay, can you...
你能不能把史蒂文的电话给我 Can you just give me Steve's address then, please?
他出城了 I think he's out of town.
哪怕没有 I mean, even if he wasn't.
我为你感到骄傲 真的 I am proud of you, I am.
但你去找史蒂文 你知道他会怎么说 But you have to talk to Steven. You know what he's going to say.
我现在真的无法处理这事 I really can't deal with this right now.
事情已经够糟了 Things are bad enough.
-你不是认真的吧 -我是 - You're not serious. - I am.
两个月前
他们会把玩具电话挂在你脖子上 They'll hang a toy phone around your neck
你必须整天戴着 也许更久 and you have to wear it all day, maybe longer.
小孩的玩具电话 Like a child's toy phone?
是的 就像《红字》那样 不过换成了电话 Yes, it's like The Scarlet Letter for violating the phone rule.
电话使用不当 被抓后 就得挂上电话 Improper use of a phone. They catch you, you wear the phone, like
像是杀鸡儆猴似的 "Let this be a chilling example to the others."
你 You...
你头30天不能打电话 You can't make calls in the
除非社工签字 所以 first 30 days unless a caseworker signs off, so...
挺难受吧 Well, that's a little harsh,
-不是吗 -吸毒过量更难受 - isn't it? -It's not as harsh as an overdose.
我们瘾君子 I mean, addicts, we're...
我们在恢复初期很容易复吸 we're pretty slippery in early recovery.
所以他们会没收我们的手机 That's why they confiscate our cell phones, you know,
以防有人联系毒贩 in case someone was to call a connection.
嗯 Yeah.
如果你想打电话给你妈怎么办 What if you want to call your mom?
里面有些人的妈妈就是贩毒的 For some folks in there, their connection is their mom.
-真的 -这是真的 - Truly. - It's true.
所以 So...
卢克说你是个作家 Luke tells me you're a writer.
是吗 他居然提起了这件事 He did? I'm surprised he mentioned it.
你的灵感从哪来呢 Where do you get your ideas from?
我主要写鬼屋 I write about haunted houses, mostly.
和闹鬼的人 这种事挺多的 And haunted people. I'm afraid there's no shortage of them.
一定是遗传的 Must run in the family.
我是说卢克也是位好作家 I mean, Luke's a great writer, too.
-是吗 -是的 - Yeah? - Yeah.
不 我不是 No, I'm not.
别妄自菲薄 他真的很有天赋 Stop selling yourself short. He's really talented.
你应该给他们看一个 You should show them the one about...
关于花园里幻想朋友的短篇小说 the short story with the imaginary little friend in the garden.
-你知道那个吗 -是的 - The one-- Do you know that one? - Yeah.
-艾比盖尔 -对 - Abigail. - Yeah.
我把她写进了我的一本书里 I put her in one of my books, too.
我觉得卢克出书 不会像我一样被嘲讽 Something tells me Luke won't get as much blow back for his.
这只是一篇文章 It's just an essay.
算不上什么 It's not anything, you know.
我一直告诉他要去发表 I keep telling him he should publish it.
就凭他的名字 Off his name alone.
也许也能住上这样的好房子 Maybe get a sweet place like this for himself.
这太棒了 I mean, you guys-- This is so awesome.
你们太幸福了 You guys got it all, man.
下一步有什么打算 Where do you go from here?
没啥事了 Nothing left to do except...
差几个孩子吧 maybe fill this place up with some kids, I guess.
这是你第一次康复吗 乔伊 So is this your first rehab, Joey?
早不止了 It's far from it.
不过有人对康复中心上瘾 But some of us are addicted to treatment centers, huh?
卢克也不是第一次了 Not Luke's first rodeo either.
那这次有什么不同 一定有吧 So what's different this time? Something must be.
你知道精神错乱的定义 I mean, you know the definition of insanity.
史蒂文 Steve.
一遍又一遍地做同样的事情 "Doing the same thing over and over--"
期待不同的结果 没错 "...and expecting different results." Sure, man.
不过都是不同的 每一天都是不同的 They're all different, though. Every day is different.
每个渴望都不同 每次互助会都不一样 Every craving is different. Every meeting is different.
是的 我不是 Right. I'm not trying to
让你别认真对待这件事 suggest you're not taking this seriously.
我只是 And I'm just...
这一次 This time around...
我只想说 I'm just speaking for myself, like...
我得到了更多的支持 I got more support.
我给予更多的支持 And I'm giving more support.
所以 So...
从某种意义上 你可以说 in a sense, I guess you could say...
看起来是同样的事情反复发生 it looks like the same thing over and over again,
但这不是精神错乱 but that's not insanity.
流落街头才是精神错乱 Out there on the streets, that's insanity.
没错 Of course.
康复就是这样 So that's what recovery is, you know?
同样的事情 一次又一次 It's the same thing over and over again,
不管结果 in spite of the result, or...
或者 in spite of
倒退 或者会有复吸 a backslide or in spite of a full-fledged fucking relapse.
不代表有一些反复就不做了 Doesn't mean you stop just 'cause it gets a little repetitive.
一天一天来 One day at a time.
我们决心戒毒 When we decide to get clean,
并不是因为会很爽 it's not because we expect it to be fucking exciting, you know?
放假带朋友回家很正常吗 Is it normal to bring a friend home on a day pass?
是啊 Yeah.
会有的 It happens.
-我以前没这种感觉 -你一定很喜欢她 - I just never really felt like it before. - You must like her.
我爱慕她 I admire her.
你不是吗 Don't you?
我觉得她很棒 I feel like she's got her shit together.
值得写进书里 I'd think you'd want me to take a page out of a book like that.
我明白 她有魅力 Look, I get it. She's charming.
能言善辩 风趣幽默 She's articulate, she's funny.
-是的 -也能人放下戒备 - Yeah. - Disarming, you might say.
甚至可以说鸡贼 You might even say "Slick."
鸡贼 Slick?
说说而已 Just saying.
你知道她一直在帮我 You know she stayed up with me.
第一个周我截断时 That first week when I was coming down.
你见过戒断过程吗 史蒂文 You ever seen someone in withdrawal, Steve?
没有 Nope.
简直就是地狱 Well, it's hell.
就 It's...
整个过程非常冷 You're freezing all the time.
七月份的洛杉矶 没有空调 冻死了 LA in July, no air conditioning, freezing.
肌肉疼痛 僵硬呆板 恶心 颤抖 Muscle aches, stiff as boards, nausea, shakes.
-我怎么会知道 -她知道 - I wouldn't know. - Well, she does.
因为她在我身边 Because she was there.
她说服了我 帮我渡过难关 And she talked me through it, she rode it out with me.
太棒了 Awesome.
操 史蒂文 Fuck. Steve.
我又不是要和她结婚 I'm not-- I'm not asking for her hand in marriage.
我只是想带个朋友来吃饭 I just wanted to bring a friend to dinner
你连机会都不给她 and you're not giving her a chance.
就是不给 No, I guess I'm not.
-为什么 -我给完了 - Why not? - I'm fresh out of those.
都给你了 I gave 'em all to you.
-我只是想让你小心一点 -我变现挺好 史蒂文 - I just want you to be careful, is all. - I'm doing good, Steve.
不管怎样 她是好人 对我有好的影响 Anyway, she's a good person, she's a good influence.
哪怕是好人 Just because someone's a good person,
你在乎他们 just because you care about them...
并不意味着他们不会害你 doesn't mean they won't burn you.
你是个好人 卢克 You're a good person, Luke.
我爱你 And I love you. And...
你知道的 you know.
谢谢 史蒂文 Thanks, Steve.
我很高兴能分享这个里程碑 You know, I'm so glad we got to share this milestone.
这就是我想要的 戒毒30天 That's all I wanted. Thirty days clean
你却又打击我 so you can make me feel like shit again.
-卢克 -操你妈 - Luke. - Fuck you.
天啊 史蒂文 这里太他妈冷了 Jesus, Steve. It's fucking freezing in here.
操了 Fother mucker.
卢克 Hey, Luke.
史蒂文 Hey, Steve.
这和你想的不一样 This isn't what it looks like.
你冷吗 Are you cold?
嗯 Yeah.
你怎么知道去哪找我的 How'd you know where to find me?
这样吧 我有两百块 Tell you what, I've got 200 bucks here.
把那个平板给我 You hand me that iPad,
钱给你 你去把旧相机卖了吧 you can keep the cash and sell that old camera.
但是 我需要平板 But, I need the iPad.
那个不能拿走 It stays here.
天啊 我看见他进来了 我以为你完了 Oh my God, I saw him walking in. I thought you were fucked.
没事了 It's all good.
应该够一晚 也许两晚 Should be enough for a night, maybe two.
还有点吃的 给 And some food. Oh, here.
太棒了 卢克 Amazing, Luke.
太好了 Amazing.
该死 今晚好冷 你冷吗 Goddammit, it's cold tonight. Are you cold?
我们在哪 第七大街 Where are we? Seventh?
快了 Yeah, almost.
还有几个街区 It's a few more blocks.
我要找个干净的旅馆 路边没有瘾君子 I want a clean hotel, no junkies on the sidewalk.
我可能坚持不住了 Man, I don't know if I'm gonna make it
我要去尿个尿 a couple blocks without a piss.
我 I'll just...
去下厕所 马上回来 pop into the little junkies' room and be back in a minute.
宝贝 Baby.
你发烧了 You got a fever?
也许吧 Yeah, maybe.
我的胳膊和腿很酸痛 It's my arms and legs, you know? Muscle aches.
我没事 No, I'm fine.
我 Hey, I...
谢谢你 Thank you.
来找我 For coming after me.
对我挺重要的 It means a lot.
不客气 You're welcome.
没关系 It's all right.
-你在做什么 -马上回来 - What are you doing? - Be back in a flash.
好 Okay.
我们继续走吧 Come on, let's-- let's keep going.
乔伊 Joey.
操 Fuck.
乔伊 Joey!
卢克 我是瘾君子 Luke, addict.
卢克 Luke.
我其实不知道要说什么 I actually don't know what I want to say here.
我 You know, I've...
我从来没有这么多时间 I've never had this much time before.
90天 You know, 90 days.
所以 So here goes.
我花了十年才戒毒90天 It's taken me ten years to get 90 days clean.
我开始第四阶段 And I'm starting step four,
总是撑不过去 which is always the one that does me in.
无畏的道德储备 "A fearless moral inventory."
我这一辈子有过很多标签 Now, I've been called a lot of things in my life,
但无畏并不是其中之一 but "Fearless" Is not one of them.
我以前是个害怕的小孩 You know, I was always a scared little kid,
我以为 and I thought...
随着年龄的增长我会变得勇敢 但 I thought I'd get braver as I got older, but...
我没有 I didn't.
我 I, um...
我什么都怕 I just got scared of anything.
我妈在我六岁时自杀了 My mom committed suicide when I was six years old.
我和兄弟姐妹被送去和阿姨住在一起 And my siblings and I were sent to live with our aunt,
我当时还小 and, I mean, I was just a kid, you know. I didn't...
还没真正了解死亡 I didn't really understand death yet.
我只在等她 So, I guess I just expected her to...
回来 to come back.
每天晚上 我 And every night, I'd...
我会盯着窗外的车子 I'd stare out my window as the cars came around the corner,
希望有一辆能停下来 妈妈从车上下来 just hoping that one would stop and my mom would step out,
接我回家 you know, to come take me home.
每次看到街角的车头灯 Every time I saw those headlights come round the corner,
我就从床上坐起来 I'd sit up in bed...
凝视着窗外 充满希望 and I'm staring out of my window, just full of hope.
一 二 三 四 五 六 七 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
但车没停 But they'd just keep driving.
尾灯最讨厌了 Those tail lights, they were the worst.
黑暗中的红眼睛 带走了我的希望 Red eyes in the dark, just taking hope with them.
妈妈 I mean, Mom...
再也没有回来 当然了 she never came back, of course,
小时候的别的东西 but other things from when I was a kid,
回来了 they came back.
我想那也是 And I guess that's...
我开始吸毒的原因吧 I guess that's why I started using in the first place, you know?
想要摆脱它们 To keep those things away.
我戒毒 And I'd get clean...
一个星期 一个月 you know, a week, a month.
但我总能感觉它们又溜回来 But I'd always feel 'em, you know, just sneaking back up on me.
-于是我又开始吸 -不是真的 - So I'd use. - He's not real.
我的家人 他们不相信 You know, my family, they're not gonna believe this.
他们从未真正相信我 They never really believe me.
我不怪他们 And I don't blame them.
我给他们惹了很多麻烦 撒谎 偷窃 You know, I fucked them over so many times. Lied, stole.
你们明白我的意思 Come on, you all know what I mean.
我猜 And I guess...
我想我 I guess I'll...
我永远无法体会他们的痛苦 I'll never know how it felt for them to be done like that.
我希望我永远也不知道 I hope I never know.
对不起 Ah, sorry.
我要感谢我的社工 佩吉 I want to thank my caseworker, Paige.
康复中心的每一个人 And every one at our recovery house.
还有 And someone...
一个特别的人 总是支持我 Someone special, who's always had my back.
谢谢 Thank you.
瘾君子 Any addict alone...
需要陪伴 ...is in bad company.
是的 That's right.
谢谢 Thank you.
我帮不了她 I couldn't help her.
我们一直在等你的电话 We've been waiting for you to call.
我有件事要告诉你 There's something I need to tell you.
我知道我搞砸了 Listen, I know I fucked up. Okay?
但我没有吸毒 真的 But I... I didn't use, I didn't.
我好他妈冷 And I'm so fucking cold,
手脚都冻僵了 and my... and my arms and legs are so stiff.
我 I just, I...
我需要一张床 沙发也行 I... I need a bed. Like, a couch.
睡地板都行 拜托 I'll sleep on the goddamn floor. Just... please.
请让我回去 拜托 Please, please let me come back. Please.
你在哪里 我们来接你 Where are you? We'll come get you.
一 二 三 四 One, two, three, four,
五 六 七 five, six, seven.
一 二 三 四 五 六 One, two, three, four, five, six,
七 seven.
你醒了 You're awake.
是的 因为 Well, yeah, 'cause...
你醒了 you're awake.
我又看见她了 I saw her again.
歪脖女士 The Bent-Neck Lady?
妈妈和爸爸不相信我 Mommy and Daddy don't believe me.
一直都不信 Ever.
他们说是噩梦 但她是真的 They say she's a nightmare, but she's real.
我知道她是 I know she is.
我有个主意 I got an idea.
拿七个 这样摆好 You need seven, and you set them up like this.
为什么是七个 Why seven?
妈妈 爸爸 Mom, Dad...
史蒂文 谢丽 西奥 Steven, Shirl, Theo,
你 我 you, me.
必须是七个 It has to be seven.
碰一下就大声数出来 会有用的 It helps if you touch each one and count out loud.
一 二 One, two,
三 四 three, four,
五 六 七 five, six, seven.
这样你就安全了 That keeps you safe.
有时要数很多次 Sometimes you got to do it a lot.
很多很多次 Like, a lot a lot.
别忘了哦 Don't forget to count.
一 二 One... two...
三 three...
四 五 六 七 Four, five, six, seven.
一 二 三 四 One, two, three, four,
五 六 七 five, six, seven.
一 二 三 四 五 六 One, two, three, four, five, six...
七 seven.
一 二 三 四 五 六 七 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
一 二 三 One, two, three...
回家吧 亲爱的 Come home, my love.
史蒂文 Steve.
很抱歉 我没能 I'm so sorry, I didn't--
我没能帮她 I couldn't-- I couldn't help her.
我真的很冷 我没有 And I'm so-- I'm so cold. I didn't...
我的胳膊和腿都冻僵了 My arms and legs are... are stiff.
我 And I...
我 I...
感觉 It's...
感觉像是戒断反应 但 It's like-- It's like withdrawal, but...
但我没吸毒 我没有 但 but I didn't use. I wasn't using, but...
但我 But I...
但我还有这种感觉 But I feel it anyway.
你 你相信我 对吧 You... You believe me, right?
你得跟我走 You gotta come with me.
你得跟我走 卢克 You gotta come with me, Luke.
什么 为什么 What? Why?
奈尔 It's Nell.
奈尔死了 Nell's dead.
怎么回事 How?
自杀 It was... It was suicide.
不 No.
史蒂夫 Stevie...
不是的 it wasn't.